Mom Shaming Bit*ches

So, I love Facebook, Snapchat, TikTok, etc. But the one thing that really pisses me off on social media are all these Holier Than Thou Bitches who just think that they need to put everyone down if they don't see things the same way they do. I am NO less of a mom than you because my kids don't eat completely organic diets, because they were born via csection, because two of the three were strictly formula fed, because we're a blended family, because I didn't make my own baby food, or because of whatever other reason you think I suck more than you do. Guess what, Karen, you suck too.

When I took Delanie (my oldest, who is 16 years old now) home from the hospital, I remember laying her down in her crib and reality walked in the nursery and kicked me right in the crotch. That's the moment I realized there was no manual to HER. Sure, there are tons of parenting books, but not one single child is alike. I made her. I am responsible for making sure she not only stays alive, but grows, becomes a good human, citizen, friend, sister, etc. Wow. That's a HUGE responsibility. You know what makes it even easier? When this happens:

"Wait, you just let them do a csection? Just because she was breech?"

"Formula?? You're using FORMULA???"

I had a traumatic ending to my pregnancy. I found out she was breach at my final OB appointment. The OB attempted an external cephalic version (multiple times) and failed. I had a csection that day and was not prepared for one. I thankfully didn't suffer from post-partum depression after her birth, but I was extremely sad and felt robbed. So when the mom shaming started, it made me feel like even less of a mom and more of a failure.

I'd love to say that the shaming stopped when I had my second daughter, Bella, who is 13 years old now. Don't worry. It didn't and I got my fair share of it then too. Being much, much older when I had my son, Clauson, who is three years old, I knew that this was probably going to happen. People always have some shit to say. I think being older, more patient and

experienced put me on guard so I was able to handle and shut people down and quiet my mama heart when someone did say something (Because they still did).

But these new moms aren't expecting it. They're happy af. Starting their families, or adding to their families. And with each age, comes new experiences, new worries and new challenges. So when Becky askes what kind of overnight diaper/pull-up to put her seven year old in because they still have an occasional accident at night, let's just give some helpful advice and not bombard her with your opinions. And when Suzie needs advice because her child won't latch, don't attack her for thinking of offering a bottle.

Amy wants to give her child a pacifier? Support her. Lauren doesn't swaddle her twins at night? Good for her! Tiffany propped up her child's formula filled bottle so she could take a quick shower? Wow, way to be creative and do some self-care, mama!

Just a reminder that WE survived. WE grew up with child "safety" equipment (crib, car seat, highchairs, etc) that would cause the current child experts to stroke out. WE grew up in homes where whiskey was used for teething babies and if you had ear infection pain a parent might have blown cigarette smoke in your ear for relief, because you know they smoked IN the home, most likely while feeding you that God forsaken FORMULA (eeek.... not the devil's juice)!!!

You want to do baby led weaning and give your baby a whole chicken leg to suck on? DO IT.

You want to do the nutrient dense rice cereal to start baby off on their food journey? DO IT.

You want to wrap baby in organic cotton picked from your own cotton field that you harvested and used your own cotton loom to make a homemade swaddle? DO IT.

You want to buy some store bought blanket to swaddle in? DO IT.

Don't like to baby wear? DON'T DO IT.

Don't/Can't breastfeed? DON'T DO IT.

Cloth diapers gross you out? DON'T USE THEM.

You didn't deliver naturally? GOOD JOB, MAMA. YOU HAD A FREAKING BABY. (AND A MAJOR SURGERY).

Remember the first time you got the plus sign on a home pregnancy test? Feeling the first kick? The first contraction? The first look at that beautiful babe? Taking that baby on their first ride HOME... without a doctor or nurse to help? Yeah, that shit is S.C.A.R.Y. Support makes it easier. So instead of being dick heads to other mamas, let's support each other and be freaking nice. We're growing PEOPLE here. Do you want your army of people that you created to become assholes? No? Then don't be an asshole to others, take care of your babes, love them, cherish them and feed them (breast, bottle, chicken wing, nasty ass rice cereal). Just raise them right and help other mamas along the way.