Buy My Crap So I Can Buy More Books (or pay bills)

Here's the deal; I hate clutter, my youngest just turned three and I need to get rid of baby shit, and we just have a lot of things, so I'm selling stuff left and right on FB Marketplace. I really should have a full on garage sale, but that takes so much work and I don't have time for that right now. (By time, I mean energy and patience). Really, a good garage sale is like a second job, honestly.

But here's why today's blog is about buying other people's used crap... it's because of the hagglers, negotiators, low-ballers, whatever you want to call them. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE a good negotiation, but it has to be based on some kind of merit and not just for shits and giggles.

For instance, the last time I had a garage sale I was selling a baby monitor. I bought it, used it for like 59 seconds and then just didn't end up needing it. I marked it for $20.00 and put it out nicely on one of my garage sale tables. Someone comes up and says will you take $5.00? Um, no because it's basically brand new, just without the box. Shit I still have the instructions AND it has new batteries in it. What's their rebuttal you ask? Well, what's the lowest you'll go? Still... um, no. I will not negotiate against myself. Give me a reasonable offer and we'll discuss. At this point, I wanted to say, well Karen, you done fucked up and now it's $25.00, but I didn't.

The only thing worse than that, is when you've got something marked for super cheap, like $0.75 and someone will ask if you'll take a quarter. IT'S SEVENTY FIVE CENTS, SERIOUSLY.... (these times test my inner Jesus loving soul and I know my resting bitch face is on fleek). But whatever, I guess that's the risk you take with serial garage sale swindlers.

So I'm over here NOT holding a garage sale, but slinging stuff on Marketplace like a boss. Today, I'm selling a diaper genie because I need it out of my way. I get a message that someone is interested in it... FOR ASKING PRICE. OMG y'all. I'm about to make a quick $10.00 with no haggling. If I drop dead, or hell freezes over, or the Vikings win the Super Bowl, you all know why... #Dontbeagaragesaledick