So You're Going to Be a Mom? Baby Gear Tips From a Veteran! Why Are There So Many Things???

I've been a mom for almost SIXTEEN years. Holy. Shit. That's a lot of years and weird to actually say. Here's the thing, I have two daughters from my first marriage and they are (almost) sixteen and thirteen years old. The hubs has a son from a previous relationship who is fifteen. But then, the most insane, surprise thing happened, I got pregnant (with fertility issues AND on birth control). So together we have a son who just turned three last week. So picture that... three teenagers and a toddler. Sounds like a lot of fun, huh? I know you're all very jealous! P.S. before the hate mail rolls in, I love our blended family and all of our kids. But let's be honest, teens are hard and toddlers are hard too. Put them together and it's fricking hard. The older kids will tell you that the age gap has been a great form of birth control for them though, so that's a plus!

So of course, neither me, or the hubs, had any baby stuff when the plus sign on the test showed up unexpectedly. We were blessed with a baby shower and even had one thrown for me at work. We were gifted with so many amazing, and much needed, baby items. While making the baby registries for the showers I was thrown for a complete loop with all the new fancy schmancy baby gadgets. Holy crap. Baby bottles have HOW many pieces to them now? How many baby seats, bouncers, swings, jumpers, walkers, etc do these tiny humans need? Babies are way more expensive now than they were sixteen years ago and they were still fricking expensive then!

If you're a new mom, or a mom-to-be, get ready, you're about to be overwhelmed. Not only by your sore boobs, extreme hunger and hormones (or endless eating, shitting and up all night babies, if your precious bundle is here already) but by the aisles and aisles of baby gear! Now don't get me wrong, all of the gadgets seem fancy, sparkly and new, but really take a second to think about the things you'll actually need and use.

Some things we were gifted, or purchased ourselves, that we never used: A baby wipe warmer (just plain took up too much room and they didn't get warm wipes where we were out and about, so what's the point?), a baby robe (good luck getting your squirmy, slippery newborn into a fucking ROBE), diaper rash cream spatula thingy (seriously, wash their bum, apply diaper rash cream and then wash your hands - it's simple), a fancy crib set (WHY? Because I can't put anything in the bed with baby, except baby - just buy some sheets and mattress protectors), and I always received TONS of newborn clothes and diapers. Yes, I can return them for bigger sizes, but I have a new baby so let's be real... I'm going to forget in my sleep deprived new mom stage so they're going to get overlooked. Be sure to get clothes and diapers in other sizes because they're only little for a little bit. Seriously, the grow way too damn fast.

Now, take this with a grain of rice, because I'm sure people will rave about the above items. To each their own. You'll find a formula mixer on many "stupid baby gear you don't need" lists I'm sure. But I was gifted one and after I stopped breastfeeding and pumping, I adored my Breeza! Also, the nose frieda sounds awful, it's not, trust me. Buy two. Judge away, Judgey McJudgey Pants. The only thing I can for sure tell you is that you'll need to keep them alive, so do what you need to do and buy what YOU want to buy. Make the registry lists, throw the baby showers and soak it all in! (And if you don't need/want it, take it back and get something you'll use).